Still Time to Make it Great in 2008

Last week we had our monthly coaching club call. The topic was "Achieving 2008 Goals." As I surveyed those present on the call most had the same goals for 2008 that they had in 2007, 2006, and even 2005. Such goals as clean out closets, loose weight, and go back to school. When asked why they thought they had never accomplished the goals answers were; feeling overwhelmed, too tired after working all day, secret resentments, and just being lazy.

I believe we all have goals we want to achieve. I also believe if you have had the same goals for several years and are not accomplishing them that you are not being honest with yourself. Questions I asked the group were; How important is this goal? How will your life change if you reach your goal? How will achieving this goal make you happier? Is this your goal or someone else's? Are you worthy of the outcome of this goal?

If we want to increase our odds of achieving our goals then we have answer those questions honestly. It is interesting how many excuses I hear of why people do not reach their stated goals. Here's the truth...a goal without a plan and action is merely a wish and not likely to happen. Goals have an action plan. When we make a plan and take action we set the for stage success.

There is still over 3 months left in this year. Dust off your New Year's Resolutions list, make an action plan, and get busy! You can still "Make it Great in 2008!"

If you are having difficulty getting started or staying on track with your goal(s), talk to a coach! We are trained to inspire and motivate you to reach your true desires!

Vote

My daughter recently moved to England. She plans to stay for about 2 years. Before she left we were talking about the upcoming presidential election. As she was sharing her political views she told me who she plans to vote for to be our new president. I said, "But you will be in England, you won't be here to vote." She quickly advised me that she had already taken the necessary steps to be able to vote even though she will not be in the country. I have to say, I was impressed!

Are you planning to vote?

Perhaps you are undecided. Sometimes it is hard to make decisions, particularly if you feel pressure to make the right decision. But realize, not making a decision, is a decision. It just leaves you in a powerless position, which can become a habit in your life.

Perhaps you don't like either of the candidates. If you are only listening to the advertisements, especially the ones that slam the opposing candidate, then it is no wonder you don't like either candidate. Take some time to read up on where they stand on the issues that are important to your life. You will find one appeals to you more than the other.

Perhaps you feel your vote doesn't really count since we have delegates. There is a lot of talk around this subject. I am not so well versed on our process that I can offer a good explanation of this. However, I will say, we live in a nation where we do not have to risk our life in order to vote. It really is an opportunity and a privilege.

History will be made in this election. For the first time ever we will have either an African American President or a woman Vice President. These are exciting times! Be a part of the decision! VOTE!

Going to the Coaching Super Summit!

I am so excited, I have just signed up for the Coaching Super Summit being held in Baltimore in October! I really searched my soul before signing up. There were considerations about how much it would cost and could I afford that, whether I would feel uncomfortable there, how my family would get along with out me for a few days, and whether or not I was really committed to building my business.

So, how did I make my decision? I coached myself, just like I would coach my clients. I listened to the "committee in my head" and one by one addressed each issue that was holding me back.

How much would it cost and could I afford it? I had to make a decision, the price was going up soon, the discount for early registration was about to end. I asked myself, "What is the business American Express card for anyway, isn't it for business building opportunities?" This is a business building opportunity, right? Plus, if all goes well, I will increase my business enough to cover the cost. OK, this issue is resolved. Next...

Will I feel uncomfortable there? What kind of question is this? Already, I am putting a negative spin on the experience. Is it about acceptance? Worthiness? Confidence? Yes, that's what it is, confidence. I continually struggle with a lack of confidence. (People who know me are always surprised when I say this, but it is true.) Long ago I acknowledged confidence as one of my mental blocks and decided to not to let it keep me stuck. But here it is showing up again. Acknowledge it, release it. Next...

How would my family feel? Well, I thought, "I won't know until I ask." So, I sat down and explained to my husband how important I felt going to the summit would be for the growth of my business, discussed the traveling dates, and gained his support. I even boosted my own self support in the process. Another stumbling block removed! Next....

The last mental block in my way was the question of, "Am I really committed to building my business?" At first this question may seem like a no-brainer, of course I want to build my business. Right? Well, not so fast. I, like most people understand that I don't want to fail, but how would success change my life? Am I willing to embrace the changes that success may bring? I am convinced that we (me included) often stay in our comfort zones. As I pondered the question at hand, I realized that I have enjoyed the slower pace of building my coaching practice, but it is time to embrace new challenges and new frontiers!

So why am I sharing this story with you?

First to let you know that we all struggle sometimes in making decisions which will bring change to our lives. Confusion and fear keep us stuck. In my process I had to tune-in to my thoughts and get clear on all the mental blocks, then I had to address them one by one.

Second, I want to share the self-coaching approach with you. Next time you are struggling with a decision, take a few quite moments and really tune-in to your thoughts. Write down all the questions and/or thoughts that are swirling in your head regarding the issue. Examine them one by one and try to come up with a counter point to your own thought. If you are able to do this then you will have the clarity to make a good decision. If you can't do this on your own then talk with someone you trust such as your partner, parent, or friend. Otherwise consider working with a coach. We are trained to help you tune-in and dissect your thoughts and we encourage you to move past fear and follow your dreams!

Good luck with your decisions and following your dreams! I will soon be off to the Summit. I will let you know how it goes!

It's Summer--Time to Play Call Review

Thank you to those of you who joined this month's coaching club call, "It's Summer--Time to Play."

In this call we explored childlike behaviors such as, playful, imaginative, trusting, inquisitive, spontaneous, open, creative, silly, and loving. Callers shared memories of their childhood doing things such as watching ants, crawling through snow caves, swinging, playing with animals, rolling down hills, and eating pancakes at grandparent's house.

As adults, most of us get so stressed with the daily pressures of adult life that we forget the light hearted energy that childlike behaviors can bring. Callers expressed they would like to laugh out loud more, be more inquisitive, and be more spontaneous. They were encouraged to spend time each week doing an activity that would help them activate the light energy of playfulness. Suggestions were go to a water park, watch funny movies, people watch at the flea market, and go to a playground and watch children play.

At the end of the call we were reminded of "All I Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten" by Robert Fulgrum--
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school. These are the things I learned:

• Share everything.
• Play fair.
• Don't hit people.
• Put things back where you found them.
• Clean up your own mess.
• Don't take things that aren't yours.
• Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
• Wash your hands before you eat.
• Flush.
• Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
• Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
• Take a nap every afternoon.
• When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
• Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
• Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
• And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

I encourage you to think back to when you were a child and your happiest times. Remember the way you felt. Think of a way today to incorporate some of that energy into your life!

Spring Into Marketing Savings Call

Susan Payton of Egg Marketing & Public Relations was the featured expert of this month's coaching call. She shared some updated strategies for marketing our businesses that won't cost a fortune!

Some of her tips included:

1. Susan says now is a good time to plant seeds (marketing seeds, of course!) Although your business may not be experiencing a slow down, all the economic forecasts are warning us of a recession. So now is the time to plant the seeds, that you will harvest in the months to come. Just like a farmer.
2. Identify your target market.
3. Analyze your marketing efforts by keeping track of how customers find you on a spread sheet. When you get a new contact you will need to ask them how they found you in order to track this. Once you have a few months information, keep what's working and re-evaluate what's not. Keep in mind if your marketing source fits your target market and you are not getting results you may need to re-evaluate your ad.
4. Write and submit press releases. She has written an e-book on the subject which you can find at her website eggmarketingpr.com
5. Susan enlightened us as to what a Web 2.0 world means. It is the new means of marketing we have on the Internet now that go far beyond billboards, print ads, brochures, and business cards. Not to take away from any of those means, but to have another avenue of exposure. To exist in the Web 2.0 world you need the following:

• HAVE A WEBSITE! In this day and age most people look for products or services on the Internet. Websites are also great as a resource for potential customers or clients you spoken to who want more information about your business.
• Use keywords. Try to come up with at least 4 keywords per page of your website, specifically targeting words you think others would use if they were looking for your product or service.
• Start a blog. A blog is a series of articles on your area of expertise. It helps to also have links to other websites on your blog.

Susan also told us about an e-book that she wrote called "Eating Cereal With a Fork." In this book she talks about how to get the very most for your marketing budget.

Thank you Susan for a great call. We appreciate you sharing your expertise with us!

Spring Make-Over

Spring is a great time for a make-over. Here are some ideas for different areas of your life:

Home

• Get your home in the spring mood by bringing in sheer fabrics, florals, and/or garden elements
• Plant a garden
• Update your landscaping
  
• Get organized
  

Style

• Update your wardrobe with light colored or floral fabrics
• Get a new hairstyle by updating your cut or color
• Start a daily walking routine or exercise program
  

Personality

• Stop complaining
• Start a new hobby
• Learn something new

Business

• Make-over your marketing or advertising
• Update a product, service or your website

There are many ideas for make-overs. If you have an idea for a make-over please share it!

Hiring Employees and Team Building

Thank you, Bobbi Palmer for joining the call tonight and teaching us about Hiring Employees and Team building.

I learned the following from the call:

Hiring Employees--

• The value of hiring based on "characteristics and values" first and "skill set" second.
• Having a culture statement to express the business values.
• Having a clear written job description.
• Finding out what motivates the potential employee and whether that fits with your environment.
• That it is acceptable and important to test people before hiring.
• That we can go to your website www.bobbipalmer.com to get more info about questions to ask ourself before interviewing and questions we can't ask in an interview.

Team Building--

• The importance of defining the team.
• That people want to feel that they are treated fairly, have an opportunity to achieve, and that they feel part of the team.
• That they are recognized for their contributions.
• That money isn't the only motivator.
• The importance of communication.

I invite everyone to share their comments here.

Also, visit www.bobbipalmer.com for more information.

Once again, thanks Bobbi!

Thank you Mark and everyone on the call!

We had a great call tonight with Mark Semple of Successful Together Coaching. If you have questions or comments post them here and Mark or I will get back with you.

For more information you can also visit Mark's website at www.SuccessfulTogetherCoaching.com. There you can look around and also sign up for his newsletter.

Mark is offering a discount to the participants of the call on his Powerful Partnerships CD set. Go to www.successfultogethercoaching.com/rhonda.html

This 2-CD set that provides insights on how to gain support from partner & family and how they can support you.

Mark thank you so much for sharing your expertise with us on this call!!!

If you would like to listen to a playback of this call you can do so by dialing 614-715-3418, access code 771846#.

My Confession

Do you ever have a great idea that you get started with then somehow loose track of? If you said, "Yes" then good, it's not just me. This blog was/is my good idea that I lost track of. I confess, I have been neglecting to submit new posts or reply to the comments that have been posted.

To those of you who did post your comments, I apologize that I did not answer or acknowledge you. I want to take that opportunity now.

Brenda Hager, I am so impressed that you found this blog and responded to my post about your writing. I loved your description on "Strong Women" and wanted to share it with every woman in the world. You so eloquently and accurately depicted strong women. Thank you!!!

Joyce, I would be happy to share more of my story about becoming a life coach. Please email me at Rhonda@RhondaHSmith.com and I will tell you the whole story and be happy to answer any of your questions.

Debbie, I am glad you enjoyed the post on Self-Confidence and hope you are continuing to give yourself credit for trying and celebrating your successes.

Loyce, thank you for reading my blog and posting your comment!

It's a new year and time to refocus! Time to let go of what did not work, revisit what could have worked, and come up with new ideas. I hope in the coming year you will turn to this blog for practical, logical and useful information!

Make it Great in 2008

Are you ready for the New Year? Have you thought about what you want to accomplish this year? If not, then sit back, relax and read on. By the time you finish this article you will be ready to “Make it great in 2008!” Combining the ingredients of the Law of Attraction, Gratitude, Visualization, and Goal Planning you will live the year by intention. This time next year you will look back and say, “Wow, 2008 was a fantastic year!”

The Law of Attraction is a universal law regarding your thoughts. As noted in the movie The Secret; what you think about is what you attract, what you focus on expands, what you ask for and believe you are deserving of, you will receive. We all understand gravity and know that if we fell off a five story building the law of gravity would be the same for every person, every time. The same is true for the Law of Attraction. In The Power of Positive Thinking, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale wrote: “Learn to expect, not to doubt. In doing so you bring everything into the realm of possibility…It is amazing how a sustained expectation of the best sets the forces in motion which can cause the best to materialize.”

Gratitude fits perfectly in with the Law of Attraction because--what you focus on expands. If you constantly complain you will get more to complain about. If you are thankful and appreciative you will have more to be thankful and appreciative about. As accurately stated by Dennis Waitley, “First we make our attitudes, then our attitudes make us.”

Visualization is a powerful way to stay motivated. Imagine that you have just had the most magical, unbelievable year of your life. When you visualize you activate the energy and feelings that will encourage and motivate you to manifest your desires.

Goal planning is the final ingredient. What is your goal? How would your life be different if you achieved the goal? Why do you want to achieve the goal? Once you have clearly stated your goal determine the five to ten most important steps you must take to make the goal a reality, giving each step a deadline. In order to achieve your goal and the interim steps toward it you will need a variety of resources including; time, energy and motivation, money, people, and possibly more. Be committed to identifying the resources, where they will come from, and where to get them if you don’t already currently have them. Remember, a goal, not in writing, is simply a wish.

These steps can be summarized with four A’s; Attraction, Attitude, Apparition and Action! Put the Law of Attraction to work in your life. Improve your attitude with gratitude. Visualize the apparition of your desires. Take action with a solid goal plan. You can, Make it Great in 2008!

What Haunts You?

Halloween is upon us. Pumpkins, ghosts and goblins are everywhere. I usually tend to look at this holiday as a pretend holiday, mainly for the kids to dress up and collect candy. But this year the thought occurred to me that this would be a good time to ask, "What haunts you?"

We all have fears inside, fears that hold us back, fears that keep us stuck. You may have the fear of failure or fear of success. Maybe it is fear of letting go or fear of staying stuck. Or perhaps it is fear of your true feelings being exposed or the fear that you will never be able to express your true feelings. These fears haunt us and keep our true nature cowering inside. They can be paralyzing!

What haunts you? Be honest with yourself. What haunts you (read paralyses you, keeps you stuck?) What is your biggest fear? What is the worst case scenario? What will your life look like five years from now if you hold onto this fear? What would happen if you overcame the fear?

There are two basic human emotions, Love and Fear? Which one leads your life?

This year take the opportunity on Halloween to release your fear. Start by acknowledging what really haunts you deep down inside. Envision how your life would be different if you did not have this fear. Make a plan to release the fear.

If you are stuck in your fear working with a coach can help expose the roots of your fears and provide tools to move beyond them. The result is a happier and more fulfilled life, without fear!

Finding Excuses or Finding A Way

I recently read this quote , "If you really want to do something your will find a way. If you don't, you will find an excuse." Since I stumbled across this quote I have been amazed by how often it has applied to myself, my children, my friends, and my clients. In assessing this phenomenon I have discovered that people don't even realize when they are making excuses. For example, the salesman who says, "My sales are down because the market is down." He is finding an excuse rather than looking for a way to increase his sales, thus his sales will probably stay down until he feels the market is back up or realizes he is making an excuse. What is unfortunate is that he probably doesn't even realize that he is finding an excuse rather than finding a way.

What do you find yourself saying or doing? If a new idea is presented to you do you think, "How can we make this happen?" Or do you say, "We can't do that because ___ ."

I remember watching the movie Apollo 13 and being struck with the tenacity of the NASA crew in finding a way to get their crippled spacecraft home. If they had been stuck in making excuses rather than finding a way, those astronauts would have lost their lives and impacted the space industry for years to come. In many ways, everyday, people lose their lives to the excuses they make for not pursuing their dreams, not making their plans, not living up to their potential, and not waking up to life.

Start paying attention to your thought pattern today. The next time you are presented with an idea or a plan notice your immediate reaction. Do you start making excuses or thinking about how to make it happen? If you find yourself making excuses, quickly shift your thinking to finding a way. Continue practicing this new way of thinking and soon it will become your habit. Who knows what may open up in your life once you stop finding excuses and start finding a way! Repeat 3 times, "If you really want to do something your will find a way. If you don't, you will find an excuse."

NOTE: Finding an excuse is not the same as being stuck. Often times people want to do things and want to find a way, but simply feel stuck. That's where coaching comes in. Coaching is finding a way. Coaching can help by digging deep to discover where your energy is blocked or tangled, what your true motivation is, how to leverage what is working, offer you new insights, and help you to create an action plan to move you forward toward your dreams!

STRONG WOMEN

Are You a Strong Woman?

Many times through the years I have thought of myself as weak, even though others would comment on how strong I am. Recently I read how one woman described what it means to be a stong woman, I found her writing to be enlightening and inspiring. This is what it means to be a STRONG WOMAN

Strong Women

Strong women are those who know the road ahead will be strewn with obstacles, but they still choose to walk it because it's the right one for them.

Strong women are those who make mistakes, who admit to them, learn from those failures, and then use that knowledge.

Strong women are easily hurt, but they still extend their hearts and hands, knowing the risk and accepting the pain when it come.

Strong women are afraid. They face fear and move ahead to the future, as uncertain as it can be.

Strong women are not those who succeed the first time. They're the ones who fail time and again, but still keep trying until they succeed.

Strong women face the daily trials of life, sometimes with a tear, but always with their head held high as the new day dawns.
---Brenda Hager

Self Confidence--Learning to Have Faith & Trust in Yourself

Do you have faith and trust in yourself? Confidence is trust or faith that a person or thing is capable. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself. Therefore if you have faith and trust in yourself you have confidence. I am astonished at how many women I meet who struggle with self-confidence. There are many factors that can lead to a lack of confidence such as gender, birth order, and parent’s attitudes.

Did you know that boys are called on to answers teacher’s questions more often than girls? Do you know why? More boys raise their hands than girls. So naturally when the teacher sees 10 boys with hands up and only 2 girls, the teacher will pick a boy. Boys raise their hands even when they don’t know the answer. Girls raise their hands only when they know the answer and sometimes not even then.

First born children are usually more confident, particularly if they are male. Parents pay lots of attention to everything a first-born does, therefore creating more confidence.
If one or both of your parents were excessively critical, demanding or overprotective you may not have developed self-confidence.

So what if you are a woman, who was not the first born, with parents who were overly critical or protective? What if don’t have faith and trust in yourself? How can you build your confidence?

First recognize what self-confidence looks like. When you are self-confident you will:
Do what you believe is right, even if others mock or criticize you.
Be willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.
Admit your mistakes and vow to learn from them.
Accept compliments graciously.

If you lack confidence you may:
Base your behavior on what other people think.
Stay in your comfort zone because you fear failure.
Cover up mistakes.
Dismiss compliments.

To build your confidence you must understand that it is like a muscle. There is no quick fix. Confidence must be warmed up, worked out, and stretched on a consistent basis to reach maximum potential and peak performance. Here are some steps to get you started:

1. Mentally prepare. Take stock of where you are, where you want to go, and commit yourself to starting and staying with it.
2. Look at what you have already achieved by writing out your 5 greatest accomplishments or finest moments. You may want to post this somewhere you can see it often.
3. Give yourself credit for everything you try. By applauding yourself for trying you will build confidence.
4. Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn regardless of the outcome.
5. Listen to self talk. Eliminate negative self-talk. If you have self-doubts, write them down and challenge them with rational solutions.
6. Build your knowledge and/or skills by taking a class or course. Go get the degree or certificate that will prove your abilities to the world and yourself.
7. Understand that you will make mistakes and you will not be perfect. Perfection is the antagonist of confidence.
8. Set small goals (as steps to your bigger goals) and when you achieve them celebrate.
9. Continue to stretch yourself by setting even bigger goals.
10. Hire a coach if you can't do it on your own.

Self-confidence is about balance. You know that negative outcomes are possible, but rather than exaggerating or minimizing it, you give it the due attention necessary (what can I do if this happens ...). Perhaps a better definition of confidence is the state of balanced perceptions and preparation.

And what will be the result of this new found confidence? Those around you will notice your confidence and you will inspire confidence in others. Perhaps Jack Welch said it best, “Confidence gives you courage and extends your reach. It lets you take greater risks and achieve far more than you ever thought possible!”